Help from Superman please

So my mom apologized to me on Christmas for giving me such a three year old xmas - I got a carebears calendar, a carebears puzzle, superman bedsheets, superman lip balm, superman the original tv series season three and four (now only if I had seasons 1,2 , 5 & 6! hahaha), etc... lol - oh well I wasn't complaining! She did get me a very nice sweater (I previously circled it in a magazine).. but sadly it was too big so she returned it today - but they told her that it can't be reordered! POOPY! But that isn't the worst part of today.
I was driving home from work - 2km if that. I went to reverse into my garage - when while reversing on part of the driveway my car (Billy) stops reversing and goes forward - odd because my foot is still on the gas and the gear is still reverse....then the car started to smell - not good at all. I was able to get it into park though - so thats good. I called the dealership (since I just had a checkup on Tuesday!) ... but since I'm in the frigging middle of nowhere is kind of hard to have anything done about it by them! So hopefully my uncle's friend will come look at it tonight - or Superman will magically arrive - that would be nice.

Merry Christmas

It is one o'clock in the morning - so that makes it officially Christmas.
Santa has come - the presents for the most part were nice... but sadly bitter sweet as many of them my dad puchased or picked out or had helped my mom buy - so she wasn't doing so well through opening presents - she also teared up a bit at church - and of course that just got my sister going.
We realized this year that my mom has never had a stocking - so we put together one for her - she seemed to really like that.
Still doesn't really seem like Christmas though - maybe when we all gather at Nana's for dinner it will be more Christmas-like!
Hope everyone has a great holiday!

I really don't have anything to blog.
I've been home for three days now - and I've slept in until 1pm two of those days..the first day I worked so I was up nice and early.
I haven't even really done anything worth mentioning either. I have had some time to myself - and thus my thoughts, and well I haven't enjoyed that very much. I've avoided certain topics but apparently have let in others. One moment I feel good about my thoughts, that I've come to a strong conclusion, the next minute I talk myself out of it and don't feel so great.
My brother and his girlfriend arrive tonight - so maybe when he comes it will feel more like Christmas - because right now it still doesn't feel that way. We've tried - but it is clearly different... and sadly not different in a good way. My sister has taken the "pity me" routine to a whole new level and you can really see the effects of it in my mothers face. She told people at the restaurant last night that Santa has to be twice as good this year because her dad isn't going to be with us..etc....etc....
Oh well - Christmas comes but once a year --- make the best of it...

Where are you Christmas? Why can't I find you?

Tis the season?
Really doesn't feel like it.
I haven't wrapped gifts, I have no desire to shop for gifts, I don't want to listen to Christmas music... I haven't had any egg nog.
I just had a crappy week. I had my prof get mad at me - but later apologized. But I also had a guy tell me he was interested in me and then totally took it back.... and with last week being my dad's birthday - I'm just afraid I've lost that loving feeling! I've just been frustrated and feeling very lonely.
Oh well - things have a reason, and other things happen all in good time...

I feel so stupid

I'm having one of those days. The type of day that makes you want to quit school and never return. The type of day where you wonder what the F you are doing - and you have no idea where you are trying to get.
I have felt so stupid today - and like I have disappointed my advisor with something I am working on that I just want to throw in the towel and swim to Cuba!
I want to be a little kid so I can throw a temper tantrum - I just want to scream, yell, throw things, and rip things a part.... oh yeah - I want to kick too!
My dad would tell me I'm being silly - to sit down and try my best to do what I need to do - and if it doesn't work out - oh well... but not to sit here and fret or feel sorry for myself.... my mom on the other hand - she's the one to tell me to take my mind off it and go and do something or find something that makes me happy..... my dad's advice usually wins out in these types of situations though... hahahaha..... but days like these still just make me so upset.

I don't understand myself at times

Why is that sometimes we pick the "bad" boy over the "good" one.
In high school - sure I can understand it.
However, as we mature we come to understand that the "bad" boys just get you hurt, and we search for the good ones - but often time don't give them the time of day - or as I'm good at doing - making them your friend.
I can sit there and give another person advice about what to do in a situation where you have the bad boy who frustrates you but doesn't really like you in return -- and the guy sweet guy who says he does like you..... yet I can't seem to take my own advice.
Yet - when there are no boys showing interesting - or not even a boy to crush upon --- we complain - when there is one available we don't take the chance!
GRRRr.... I frustrate myself

my tummy hurts

Its almost one thirty in the morning, the vast majority of individuals I know who live in Windsor are out at a bar....so why didn't I go with? I'll tell you. I drove in from Corunna today to attend an ergonomics potluck at my advisors house. It seemed like everyone brought their significant other --- so that kinda sucked - but oh well - no big deal... I know 90% of the people here, and the ones I don't I soon will.... the night continued on and it was ok for the most part, great food, amazing hospitality, etc... then someone brought up school - and thats where the night ended for me. I just couldn't shake the topic from my mind. I can't go into details on here - but it sort of felt like someone stuck a dager in my stomach tonight. In the end - in the grand scheme of things related to life - it is so small it won't even be noticeable - but at the moment - it just sucks - and it really got me down -- which made me so home sick.... home sick in the sense that I really just miss my family and friends so much I dislike it!
Oh well - life shall go on

My dad's birthday

Right now I am wishing there was a Superman. A Superman that could go and get my dad and let him be here for his brithday. Just so I can be selfish and give my dad hug. So I can tell him again that I love him. So that he can could the chocolate behind door number 12 on my advent calendar like he has for the last 24 years of my life (thats right I've never eaten the #12 chocolate). So that my mom doesn't have to rewrap and re-sign christmas cards and presents she prepared during the summer time. So that we can put the tree up on December 12th and have it be a joyeous occassion like it always was - usually with some tinsle being thrown places that isn't on the tree. So we could have dutch almond cake and so my dad can blow out the candles. So he can sing along when we sing happy birthday and he can do the little dance he always did. So that I don't have to accept that he's dead.... so that when I think he's still here with us, he actually will be. So I don't have to miss him. So I don't have the live the rest of my life without him in a phsyical presence. So my mom wouldn't be sad, my sister wouldn't be acting out, so my legs wouldn't feel so numb... and well .. my brother has actually been a much nicer person - but I'm sure he's gone through some pain and anguish - so lets take that away. For a lot of other selfish reasons too.
I hope he has an awesome birthday though wherever he is... I hope he's happy... I hope to see him again one day.

Alls

Alls I have to do today.....
Alls I'd really like to do....
Now I have never been known for being a master of the written word, nor I have perfected the ability to speak the English language, but I'm pretty freaking sure that "alls" is not a word. With that being said why do people more of late seem to start a whole heck of a lot of phrases with the term alls? I have heard so many people use the term alls so much in everyday language that I have on occassion found myself using it! This drives me nuts! I admit that I use slang a lot - but alls - it is becoming an incredible peeve of mine! GrrrrrrGAK!
HOWEVER
I have come up with a really cool commercial idea...

White screen on the television
Enter from the right of the screen an individual looking not so well, acting in a way to imply a soar throat.
Enter from the left of the screen guy 2 who is in a much more cherry mood and fiddling with a package of cough drops in his right hand.
[Guy 2] - "Hey buddy.. how's it going?"
[Guy 1] - with a very scruffy voice tries to reply... ".....alls....." cough cough cough
[Guy 2] - "Alls.... going great?"
[Guy 1] - shaking head and arms as to say no no no ...attempts to talk again ".....alls....." cough cough cough
[Guy 2] - "Alls.... you wanna do is dance?"
[Guy 1] - shaking head and arms as to say no no no ...attempts to talk again and pointing at Guy 2 ".....alls....." cough cough cough
[Guy 2] - "You know man, your not sounding so good, maybe you should have one of my Halls, they work great" ... offers Guy 1 a Halls
[Guy 1] - graciously accepts cough drop

-- advertisement about Halls ---
-- back to the two guys, as they turn to walk away ---

[Guy 1] - "You know that alls isn't a word right?"
[Guy 2] - "What ar you talking about?"
[Guy 1] - "alls.....?"

on the screen...... "Alls ?????"
with fancy graphics in comes an "H" and the "?" get replaced with "!" to show
"Halls!!!!!"
and they voice guy says something else about Halls.

It looks really cool in my head - and even if you don't enjoy it - I still think its better than 85% ofthe commercials out there that are complete crap!

Well I guess alls I have to do now is hit that publish button!

Alls ya later

to keep Sharon happy...

Huge exam tomorrow - so I'm stressed and trying to get all my studying in... hence the lack of posts

Thursday - drove home at night to avoid bad morning weather
Friday - was at home. Saw Happy Feet with mom and sister - not what I was expecting but still cute
Saturday - worked, went and saw Guys and Dolls that my cousin was in, drove to Windsor, got there just before 1am, picked up the roommate and went to a ergonomic gathering - stayed until 4am.... got hit on by a 30-40 year old married cop with kids.
Sunday - had coffee with Irene who was in town due to a wedding. Studied
Monday - studied
Tuesday - taught class, studied
Today - studying.