Why the world needs superman

Monday, October 29, 2007

GRRRRR GAK!

I'm getting really frustrated. I'm sick of it.
I just feel like I always get the short end of the stick... and yes I realize that I have some awesome things in my life - things like family, friends, food, clothes, a roof etc.. that I would never trade.... but I just can't believe the amount of crappy luck I seem to have follow me.
I was up for a teaching gig next semester and I was told it was mine because I have all the qualifications - it would just matter if someone with higher credentials applied (ie had a finished Masters or a Ph.D. etc...)... well guess what happened today - someone with a freaking completed Masters applied and obviously gets the job over me. WHICH SUCKS - because the reason why I'm not done my thesis is a) they made me qualify because I was health sciences and not kinesiology (a rule that has been changed somewhat since I started).....b) I couldn't propose throughout the summer because people on my panel were gone on vacation....c) ethics took two months to pass. Well Effing Eh.
So now if my thesis rolls into the Jan semester I'm screwed because I won't have a job (you can't TA/GA more than four times...and I won't be teaching) so I can't afford it. So I finished in Jan... great NOW WHAT??? Move back home and work at the bank until September rolls around and hopefully at that time I go back to fun school for a Ph.D.???
I was really hoping 2008 would be an awesome year - that maybe things would finally start falling into place and things would be turning up Paula....and yes - I'm sure this has happened for a reason - a reason that I'll understand in the future - and I know that this not getting of the teaching gig is small - but in the end it has a ripple effect.... and I'm just so frustrated because I just can't win. If I was someone horrible person I'd understand - but thats the thing - I'm a good person... or at least I try to be - so why does life have to be a constant obstacle course? I don't understand.
I'm losing all motivation very quickly - I wish I could just marry rich and do volunteer work the rest of my life ...hahaha

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

SUPERHERO WORLD.... YIPPEE!

Go figure that the Superman fan is going to finally talk about comics and superheroes.

Tonight on Beauty and the Geek the Beauty's got to create a a superhero (story and all).... and the Geek's had to design and create the outfits.

I've also always admired my friend Massimo's abilty in creating superheros and comics and such... very talented.

I have always enjoyed the superhero world. The last book I just finished reading was "All my friends are superheros" and I absolutely loved this very short book! I absolutely love being entertained by Smallville n Thursdays at 8pm.....I love the topic but it also helps that Tom Welling in my mind is so good looking (which I've learned, if I find someone "cute"... Sharon thinks they are "goofy" looking... which ok for the most part might be true... but I think Tom Welling is really hot.. and not goofy).

I've often wondered what superhero I would be. I was even thinking about creating a superhero outfit this halloween before agreeing to do a "group" outfit..... I have a cool mask I bought thats silver - and I was going to incorporate red.. maybe with flames.. and maybe take some influence of Shan's "Spoonman" costume one year... maybe next year.

What would your powers be?

I'm not sure what my powers would be - but this weekend I was told what one person thought my downfall or my weakness was. I feel the world's sorrow too much and want to do everything in my power to make things better for them - to hep them - which is often out of my control and power.... so my weakness might possibly be the world's sorrow? But I did tell this person that I do want people to be happy... and I do like trying to help people if I can - but I also know that I can't do everything - I can't always do the right thing either --- and not all the things I do do are helpful.... and although it makes me happy when friends and family are happy....but my happiness does not depend on it.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Two Thousand and Eight...... Already?

I know that Halloween has not yet even come to be - and that is the nearest holiday. I think its even my favourite holiday. As a kid I use to love dressing up and going door to door....I even loved dumping all our treasure (candy) on the dining room table and then separating it all into piles of various categories.... I think I loved the sorting part even better than the eating part! Don't get me wrong - anyone who knows me realizes I ate more than my fair share of the candy - but I dunno....(insert drifting thoughts and memories here....)
Then there is Christmas of course.. I've already put in my request for turkey - and hopefully a real turkey - a whole one - not just a breast - and not a chicken...
But - I've really had New Years on my mind the last few days. The most dressed up I've ever been for New Years is for the Hawaii based theme we had one year in London - awesome New Years...but I've never done the classy thing. The dressed up thing. Reason being is because thats usually the more expensive route to take. Also - even though I have several formal dresses - I'm just more comfortable in pjs.. hahaha. I like to dress up - but usually end up feeling very uncomfortable dressed up - not because I'm cutting off circulation or anything - but because I never feel like a princess - and I guess in my head I feel that when I girl gets all glamoured up she should feel like a princess - and almost every time I've been to a formal event it never gets close to the hopes and expectations I have for it - instead of feeling like a princess I usually feel depressed and like a huge heap of crap. So maybe that is another reason why I have stayed away from the "fairy tale" New Years - I don't really know.
The important part about New Years to me is trying to spend it with family or friends - as I've aged its definitely been the latter of the two.
Its also funny that I've been thinking of New Years because I'm the girl who wants to stop time - who wants to go back in time - who just would like the clock to stop moving so fast......

Sunday, October 14, 2007

From the desk of a sick girl.

The day I dislike the most in the whole calendar year passed on Monday. It was my birthday. Most people like to make a fuss over their birthday - whether that includes throwing a party, going drinking, gathering friends for a nice dinner....I like to ignore mine. I like to think of it as just another day. Most people are busy on my birthday anyway as it typically falls on the Thanksgiving Weekend. My mom this year for my birthday decided she'd give me her illness. Six days later I'm still not able to speak with a strong voice, nor for very long because words result in a coughing fit. I spent three days in bed, literally, barely getting out to go to the bathroom. Today I sit in front of my computer hopeful I will get some work done as I have things due tomorrow that my ailments have prevented my from already completing. The crappy part is that my football team is on the field right now (hopefully winning) and I cannot be there. When I woke this morning I decided I'd go - getting out would do me some good - then a 20 minute coughing fit and a box of tissues later I decided that it wasn't meant for me to go. But enough about that... lets rewind time for a moment.

Thursday. October 4th.
After school, which was a short day because the day before was so horrible, Danielle and I drove to my house. Who came on the radio - Johnny Cash. It was a "hold you head high and keep moving on" type feeling...(Wednesday was a bad day because my two advisors decided to sit me down and tell me all the constructive critcism they had gathered up against me over the last 2 years... I like feedback, and I appreciated constructive criticism, but 2 years worth at once is a lot to take. They also did this right before my ethics trial... awesome. I had a 15 hour day at school... I had a lot of thinking to do - as to whether or not I am meant to be an academic, what else I am to do in my life, whats the point of anything.... and I definitely did not want to go back to my house, because well Ariana has pretty much moved in with her boyfriend, and the other roommates drive me up the wall, the only reason why I stayed in the house was because of Ariana, but I barely see/speak with her anymore :( )... back to Thursday.
Danielle and I got ourselves ready, jumped in Hank (her car) and crossed the border... on to the Brad Paisley concert we went. Taylor Swift was the first opening act - I had heard her live before and she was aweful so I was not looking forward to her performance. But I was pleasantly surprised - she sounded much better, not great, but better, and her personality as awesome that she won me over in the end. During her performance there were three people in the row in front of us. Two females and one male. We were trying to figure out which girl he was with, we figured it was the brunette girl... and we decided she was more into him than he was into her. They left after Taylor finished performing. Next on was Rodney Atkins and he was awesome - love that guy! He made me realize something odd. I'm sure you know, but often times there is just a characteristic about the opposite sex that catches your eye more readily than its absense. Well right now if there were two attractice guys in front of me (yes basing this on looks and not personality, but personality in the end plays a much more influential role!)... and one guy was a country boy wearing a yellow t-shirt and totally pulling off that yellow shirt, I'm much more attracted to him. Yop thats right - I'm in my "country boy yellow shirt wearing" phase. HAHAHA. Then Brad Paisley himself came on! Two of the three from the row in front of us, the boy and the blonde. Turns out the brunette was one of their mothers and was feeding these two 16 year olds booze. Well didn't they become annoying. During a slow song everyone sat down except these two - who were clearly blocking the view of myself and the girl to my right. If they were dancing - whatever - but they weren't - they were pretty much having sex, as the girl was wearing a miniskirt and showed flashes of her "britney". I eventually tapped the boy ont he shoulder and said "would you mind sitting down because I paid money to see Brad Paisley and not see you two f%%%ing molest each other. He didn't like that very much but the girl beside me was very thankful. The guy started chirping back at me and I told him he had two choices 1) sit down and behave himself or 2) leave. He decided to invent a third option called "fighting back". Danielle decided to try and teach the boy some manners as the crowd around us starting to help us out. The best part was when Danielle asked where the brunette chick went we were told she was in the "limo"... we then asked how old this guy was and why he hadn't been taught not only how to respect himself and his girlfriend but all the other people around him - he replied "older than you"... which made everyone laugh - and then the drunk kid decided to tell us, why we still don't know, that Burt Reynolds was also in the limo waiting! WHAT?... anyway - they ended up leaving shortly after.
Brad Paisley otherwise put on a good show... but when it was over and he had yet to coem do his encore we were trying to think of what song he had left to sing. He came back on - started playing the instrumental intro... and Danielle turns to me and says "This isn't a Brad Paisley song" to which I reply "I know, its Johnny Cash". What are the freaking odds of that???? So two Thursdays in a row I've heard a J.Cash song TWICE - after not hearing him for a year. This Thursday just passed I spent it in bed - so I heard nothing....
but I should get back to my homework - I have a manuscript to write for tomorrow... yeah good luck on that one!! hahahah
P.S. - WELCOME HOME JEN!!!!!