Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister

This is a passage that is in the book I am currently reading that I thought was very interesting and oh so true - and yet one that I can relate to myself as I often find myself lacking confidence....yet I should hold my head high as I am a good person, I have a lot to offer another individual - and I should be proud.

Iris: "I don't know how to improve my lot, unless it's to take a heavy Spanish veil and hige my ugly face from the good citizens of Haarlem"

The Master: "Self-mockery is an uglier thing than any human face, Iris. No one can pretend you are a pretty wench, but you are smart and you are kind. Don't betray those impulses in yourself. Don't belabor the lack of physical beauty, which in any case eventually flees those who have it, and makes them sad."

I need superman.... he needs to make things better

So a lot has happened in the last few days.

I went to London on Sunday to attend the meeting of the Trifecta. This was much needed as the doctor, the lawyer, and the professor got together for pretty much no good. We entertained the waitress in Port Stanely.... it was a shame that Col. Sanders wasn't actually available to join us. I understand that this doesn't make much sense to those who were not there - but go with it. We went out that night - and met up with a bunch of other people at the bar downtown - which was good.

When I drove to London I listened to Jeff Foxworthy on the radio. Then on the way back to my mom's - I listened to the exact same show... THEN when I drove to Windsor - it was on again! Different stations too! He had a segment where people could call in and say their own "you know you're a redneck when..." so I thought i'd share some of my own...

You know you are a redneck when all the people in the county you live in fit on three pages in a phone book and they're aint no one you aren't related too

You know you are a redneck when your neighbour's pickup truck is not only his vehicle to get around but it is also the kids school bus, the county firetruck and santa's sleigh in the christmas parade!

I had another one about where my mama lives but I dont recall what it is at the moment.

The last 24 hours though have been not fun.

Chutney has been driving me up the wall..... but that is a whole other story not to be published on a website that she might stumble across.....
Due to the rain the basement flooded - which of course where my room is
The main floor flooded due to the dishwasher exploding -
I got to clean both up by myself - no one bothered to offer me help....(and there were other people in the house)
I found out that I might not actually get a tuition scholarship this semester.... due to no fault of my own but a screw up in administration and there might be nothing I can do about it - and this is horrible because I don't have the money to pay for my tuition --- I can't really take a semester off because well I'm finally about to propose - because FINALLY everyone will be in Windsor at the same time and not on vacation or away for conferences....so I've just been really sick to my stomach the last little bit - which you would think would help one lose weight - but instead I've gained and I'm pretty pissed about that too!

On a brighter note - 1) YEAH RAFA IS COMING TO CANADA 2) JEN CALLED ME FROM AFRICA and 3) I didn't talk about th obits - although there were additions I could have made!!!

I dream a dream a dreamer may dream of dreaming in their dreams...huh?

I had a crazy dream the other night... this isn't actually out of the ordinary for me - I often have the most interesting dreams - but this one just seemed so real!!

In this particular dream, myself with three other girls, Jen, Danielle (a girl that rents a room in the house I live in in Windsor ---> who throughout the last year I've probably seen a total of 5 times! hahaha) and another girl who I can't recall. We had just moved into thise BEAUTIFUL three floor house. White seemed to be the main colour used as part of the house... the outside house panels were white... the walls on the inside were white, and some of the funiture was white. The other main colour in the house was an oak wood - because the stairs and floor were wood! hahaha - but the white should have given it away that I was dreaming if the rest of what occurred in the dream didn't!!! My mom would never let me wear white growing up because less than five minutes of wearing it - the article would no longer be white! hahaha

Upon walking in the front door of the house a closet was to your left, you'd be standing in a bit of an alcove and if you went to your right you'd go to the entrance to the garage, the laundry room, and a bathroom. Straight ahead of you down a hallway to your and slightly to your right after the hallway was a huge open concept kitchen. The kitchen had a wrap around counter that as acted as a table top with bar stools! Behind this towards a window that showed the backyard was a dinning table and chairs. To the left of the kitchen/dinning area was a sitting room - it was just a room that I guess was more like a library or conservatory - but we at least not at the events of the dream used it often. Back to the front door... if standing at the door there is that closet to your immediate left - but if one took two steps forward you would be able to see a door to the left - this lead to a bedroom of the girl who I can't recall who she was. And then of course there was the staircase that led upstairs. Upstairs was a bathroom, three bedrooms and the coolest sitting/tv room/recreation room at the front of the house. We spent a lot of time in this room - so much so that on the countertop that was in there we put a microwave so we could make our popcorn there rather than having to run downstairs for it - as well as a kettle that Jen and I used to make tea and hot chocolate every day. In this room we spent a lot of time just chatting, or reading or watching tv.
Well guess who our neighbours to the right (if facing the house) is the next interesting point of the dream.
Our neighbours were Victoria and David Beckham! Jen and I both happened to go over there a bunch. We only hung out mainly in there kitchen - or in the back yard that had a GREAT pond and stone gardens!!! One night while taking out the garbage I actually got to meet Posh Spice's son who was also taking out the garbage. His name was Homer - and wow - he was the same age as us. He was also in school - but lived a low profile life, unlike his parents. The two of us got along really well - but it was a shy conversation that 15 years might have - and thus did not last very long.
The next few days Victoria kept bugging me about my encounter with her son - and that the lad seemed to have taken a fancy to me! hahahaha.
WELL - if the dream wasn't crazy enough there.. it got more interesting.
That weekend we had a few friends over and we were hanging out in our upstairs room listening to some music, having a few cocktails and getting ready to go out for the night - a girls night. The main topic of conversation was Posh Spice. One of our friends was asking what Jen and I thought of her - was Posh actually nice.... was she smart.... was she actually pretty.... because this person asking us the questions in her experience didn't think she was pretty, thought she was a complete ditz and thought that she was a bee with an itch. Jen and I thought she so far had been a great neighbour and we had enjoyed all of our conversations and encounters. Who was the person that we were discussing this wit - well of course the one and only Madonna!
hahahaha
The details of the dream are still very crisp in my mind - that is actually what I feel to be the odd part because I usually remember the dreams when I awake - but as the days go on the details fade and I eventually forget the dream in a couple of days and fill my head with other thoughts and scenerios - however, this dream is just so real - its weird...

Oh What a Beautiful MORNING - I Cain't Say No - The Farmer and the Cow man should be FRIENDS.

The Friday
Nothing much exciting happened on Friday. I got taken out for lunch – that was actually exciting! Vicki is an awesome lady with whom I work – we had Chinese – no none of it was cat – I’m positive.

The Saturday
My evilness came into play.
I woke up early and went shopping. No I didn’t buy clothes or shoes but rather food and alcohol – so just as good.
I bought hamburger, onion, wine, beer, coolers. I think that’s it. Later on in the day I realized I forgot the hamburger buns – so I had to return to the store.Aine came up to my mom’s place – without Parker – which is a story in and of itself. She helped my evil plans come into play.
I made hamburgers from scratch – I’d never done this before – and I probably should have looked up a recipe rather than making it up. Don’t worry they tasted good – I just didn’t add eggs to hold them together – so a few crumbled on me…but the majority held together – the crumblers – they got the cheese! Cheeseburgers that is! Oh wait – I also bought corn! Mmmmm corn on the cob!
So – with corn, hamrburgers, hot dogs, potato salad, macaroni salad, marshmallow salad, two raspberry pies, and a bunch of tarts (and a bunch of booze) I invited my Nana (who made the salads and desserts), aunts, uncles and a few of my mom’s friends over for a surprise bday dinner for my mom! She cried. I made my mom cry! But it was a good cry. Well I think…. there still is the possibility that she cried because she realized she wasn’t going to church this weekend. She had to work on the weekend – and church usually is Saturday after shes off --- but instead of coming home to go to church – there was a house full of people --- its ok – I asked my Nana in advance for her blessing to obstruct my mom from going to church – she said it was ok!

The Sunday
Aine and I hung out a little bit longer – we took my sister to church in the morning – and watched tv into the afternoon. (It was also Ariana’s bday … she was in Windsor – I was not… my friend Fearon also got married… she was in New Brunswick – I was not)

The Monday
I realized that August 6th should possibly be a more sad day for me than the 7th --- because the last time I saw my dad (alive) was the 6th…. So that realization was a bit sad. I got to drive into Sarnia and meet up with Barry and Josdalyne, who although live in Ottawa, were in the area for the long weekend.
Oh yeah – I forgot – we also got a phone call on the weekend – it was our last telephone automatic alarm to allow us to update our obit listings! That’s right we’ve sadly had to say goodbye to another. So the Monday night my mom and my Nana went to the funeral home (I stayed home with my sister)… we had the option of going to the funeral the following morning – and really what better way to celebrate the memory of my father on the day of his passing than to go to a funeral…. we didn’t go.

The Tuesday
We woke up early. I don’t really think my mom slept. This is the interesting story day.
My Nana came to the house early in the morning too. We all got ready…. I mapquested and printed stuff off – we all got into the mustang (me driving) and we headed to Stratford. I had previously bought tickets for the 4 of us to go see the musical Oklahoma. Woo woo.
So we headed to Stratford. Not an easy task – it was POURING RAIN! The winds were strong, the roads were crap (pot holes and slippery!) so the drive was not smooth…it was rocky. Later my Nana admitted that she spent the latter half of the drive praying the roads would become less violent because with every bump she became one step closer to wetting her pants! Ahhh grammas so cute!. My mom was riding shotgun – and by the rules of the person riding shotgun – they are the official navigator. It is not the fault of the driver if you get lost – because the shotgun passenger is in charge of directions. My mom couldn’t even figure out which way was North. It’s a good thing I knew where I was going (well… I didn’t know where I was going because I hadn’t been there before – but I had a good idea of at least how to get there!). We go there. It was still raining.
We were hungry – so step one – was complete…we got to Stratford… step two – do a drive by of the theatre… CHECK – step three find a freaking place to eat. Easier said then done. I drove around and found a little diner – it was pretty good. Great service – good food.
Hahaha – but there was a lady. A little old lady – of an age I’d rather not guess. She and her husband walked in moments before me and my gang. She started talking to my mom before we were even able to place our buttocks upon the chairs…close – kind of like how Ellen D. hovers over the chair so the music guy (not Tony but the new guy) doesn’t quite stop playing the music – but is ever so close because she’s a fraction of a hair from sitting – but could also bounce back up and continue dancing…
Anyway – the lady throughout the next hour – does not stop talking. We sometimes interact with her – other times we just let her keep talking and pay no attention to her --- that didn’t bother her though… we learned about why she can’t wear white, that she sold her house but wished she hadn’t… about her favourite places to go in Stratford, etc.. the best part – was that after her husband finished eating – he got up and went to the car and sat there in the drivers seat completing a crossword puzzle while listening to some music….no seriously – its true – they had parked right in front of the restaurant so we had a clear view --- she even laughed about it!!! Once again – didn’t phase her – she kept on talking…
After some food we went to Ontario street – the “main” street. We went into a bunch of shops. The chocolate shop, the toy shop and bunch of other stores. One was the holiday store – the Christmas store to be more specific. AWESOME – my mom loves xmas stuff – plus – we needed to buy a camel! Yes a camel. Every xmas my dad would set up Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus, shepards, the wise mine, lambs, ox, and camels. Well – one of the camels broke…. Smashed! I was so upset by this – but we thought surely we’d be able to buy a new one from an xmas store…. My mom was so optimistic walking into this store she got a BUGGY BASKET! We walked out with nothing. NOTHING. We could have bought an assortment of board games or 2008 calendars… yop – that’s holiday stuff! Hahahaha
After this my Nana needed a rest so we went to Tims and sat a bit – then we went to a bookstore – my request. It was a classic old time independently run book store. It was awesome. He had ONE Hemmingway book – that was unfortunate. I did buy a book though – The confessions of the ugly stepsister – I’m very excited to read it.
We shopped some more, went for dinner and that evening headed to the show and had a great time!
After the show we headed back home – via a different route because while driving there I realized a much better route to take. However, this would be a devastating adventure.
After passing through a sliver of London – and just outside of Lobo is when it happened. I still can’t believe it happened.
My mom was telling Laura (for like the 100th time) to sit back in her seat because one time I just might have to SLAM on the breaks and she’d smashed her face on something – or snap her overly weak neck. Although the drive to Stratford was rainy – the return was foggy and muggy (YUCK). Well – at this particular point there were two cars in front of me – none that I could see behind – and no oncoming traffic – and only one lane with which to drive in my direction. Then I saw them – raccoons. UHOH – they aren’t going to cross – they see us – they aren’t stupid. I was wrong… they kept coming – but I couldn’t do anything – I couldn’t swerve to the left – I’d hit the family. I couldn’t swerve to the right – I’d flip the car in a ditch. I couldn’t slam on the breaks because well it wouldn’t really make a difference from hitting the poor guy – but would most likely injure my sister… and well I couldn’t try and drive faster to get out of the way because I’d hit the car ahead of me – so sadly – Jen’s raccoon road-kill Halloween costume now has a friend. Poor fluffy guy.. sniff… I’ve only ever hit one thing before while driving – and I’m only 99% sure I hit it --- and that was a seagull one morning returning home after a shift at AMC. After my Nana telling me I did the best thing with the raccoon situation – a POSSUM comes onto the road – I could swerve to the left this time to miss it thank goodness!
There was more to the story – but that’s enough for now!
We got back home around 2am… I got up early in the morning and returned to Windsor…and now I’m pooped and my eyes are burning – so I’ll be going to bed soon…mmmmm…. Bed…

The good the bad and the ugly

I was able to drive down to Toronto for Saturday night. I first went to Sharon's place and dropped off my car and "stuff". I then hopped on a bus to the subway station and took the subway to the other end of the line. I've been on the subway tons of times before - but this was actually the first time by myself. I didn't have an ipod or music device, I didn't bring a book or magazine, and unlike most trips on the gotrain - no one left a newspaper on a nearby seat.
Yet - I was still entertained.
I people watched.
I watched little kids causing frustrations for their caregivers - but definitely creating entertainment for onlookers.
I watched people almost miss their stops.
I saw a group of people come towards the subway as it "dinged" meaning the doors were going to close - one girl jumped on thinking others would follow suit - and the girl right behind her totally tried to follow suit - and would have been successful in her attempt if the doors didn't shut.
So here was one girl from a group of like five or six on the subway laughing uncontrollably as her friends were still standing on the platform. Now if it were me - I'd just ride the subway to the destination -- this girl however just got off at the next stop - and the ending left to my imagination suggests that she just got on the next train that came along. But have no fear it wasn't like she was really separated from her friends - the moment she couldn't see them anymore from the panes of glass separating them - she sat down and started to text message them on her phone..... oh technology.
What I really enjoyed doing - because it was kind of like an experiment - but arguably a bit creepy... I would watch the people who would pass by on the platform (me in my seat) I'd make eye contact with one of them - and see how long they kept it. I wasn't moving - but they'd be walking and going behind poles and such - One guy ... who was really cute - but one again those stupid closed panes of glasses made our romance only a brief few moments long - we would obviously have text messaged each other - but sadly we had not previously met to exchange numbers - plus lets be honest - I probably would have given him my msn, or facebook contact before my phone number -- see technology again changes our modes of communication! hahaha
I also enjoyed trying to guess where people were going to sit when they got on the subway. I didn't sit in the most enjoyable seat on the way to Maggies' - and I had multiple opportunities to change my seat - for example to one that had a arm rest or wall to either side of me thus offering a false sense of security - but I stayed still.
Maggie's was a good time -- we went to a bar I'd never been too - and my roommate Ariana was able to meet up with us too! There were good stories, good laughs, good times.
The next day I hung out with Sharon for a bit - which was very enjoyable as always.
Thats the good
I don't really remember what I was going to say about the ba --- there was something I thought of this week that I was going to discuss - but apparently its not on the tip of my tongue - because currently thoughts of the ugly are taking over!
I have strange fears. Most people are not afraid of fish - at least not to the extent that they refuse to watch a cartoon movie about fish - but I do. I have a fear of car washes - but that relates back to the fish fear - because when I was younger and we went through them - those things that came over the car I thought were the arms of an octopus and sea urchins... etc... so I didn't like them and still don't. I have also had a fear of bridges. I've seen some horrible looking bridges - and I'm just fearful that one day I'm going to be on a bridge or even underneath and its going to crumble and fall.
Realistically I know that fish are not going to think my toes are worms and eat me. Realistically I know that there are no water creatures in the car wash that are trying to attack me. And Realistically I thought that if a bridge collapsed I'd have enough time to get to safety....but now, do to this story that happened in Minneapolis I'm not so sure any more.....

http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2007/08/02/bridge_disaster_in_minneapolis/