I'm sorry I have not posted in a while - but hopefully this one makes up for it.
I just returned from a winter wonderland wedding weekend in Quebec.
There was definitely a lot of things to do that kept me busy throughout the weekend... which in the end is a good thing, because I'd rather be doing something than sitting still.
I first met up with the bride and groom in Ottawa and together we finished up some last minute details. Then the next morning three car loads of us headed up to Blueberry Lake in Quebec - which was incredibly beautiful - far exceeds the website that just simply does not do it any justice whatsoever.
Anyway - the wedding in an of itself was really fun and beautiful. I think the bride and groom enjoyed themselves! There were definitely a few guests who enjoyed themselves a little too much!~ haha. I was also really excited when Jen, Mark and John arrived.... I love those guys! They even brought me the coolest toy EVER. They got me a superman figurine.... I mean action figure, its an action figure! haha. But the action figure is the size of my forearm.. so its not tiny. Anyway, they gave it me knowing I believe that he had the ability to punch and stated "up up and away" and then made flying sounds. What they didn't know however, is that this action figure also has freaking lasers for eyes, sounds including! Its awesome.
Speaking of superman.... and the real reason why I wanted to write this particular blog...
This morning I went to pick up the dog from the "pet holiday resort". With all the time I've spent driving in the car the last two days, I have had a lot of time to think, a lot of time to debate with myself, a lot of time to think upon memories more current and past, and of course relive the wedding in my head, which also made me think of Jen and Mark's wedding but a year ago, also in the winter season. (side note - although it seems like a crazy idea to get married in the winter, and I may be biased now seeing as the only weddings I've been a part of have been in the winter, but I think they out rank the summer weddings. Both Jen & Mark, Jos & Barry had great weather to travel, so that made a huge difference too I'm sure... but they were beautiful - sure there were moments of being cold, but I'd rather be cold and warm up, then sticky, sweaty and gross).
When I typically think back over the wedding I'm thinking of getting ready, the bride snowboarding down the aisle, yes I said snowboarding, the rehearsal dinner, kitchen appliances (lol), etc..... I don't know what made me think about this though... but aside from the fondest best memories with the bride and groom, and friends at the wedding.... there were a few key moments that I didn't realize made such an impact on my life until I started sobbing in the car on the way home with the dog! This is two times as funny as well, because one of the reasons I ended up representing the bridesmaid for the speech was because I can be "Chandler" from friends and just not cry or get emotional... yes there are certain things that can get me going, but I'm usually good at keeping myself in check. So some of the key moments I thought of in the car ride, which are ones other people probably didn't even witness are:
1. After the ceremony, the bridal party was called over to a bride to take photos. On the way there I asked the bride if she wanted her "heart shaped muff", she replied she did, so I turned back to go get it. Thus I was now lagging behind. As I started getting closer, the groomsman that was my partner for the wedding started walking towards me. I assumed he was going to go say something to his girlfriend real quick, or maybe even needed to be sick as he was suffering from flu-like symptoms. Nope. He was coming over to walk with me and offer me his elbow/arm for support as the ground was a bit icy and he didn't want me to fall.
2. We were at the boys chalet to take I think the one and only photo that the group had inside. As everyone was taking off some of the extra winter padding we had on for the outdoors ceremony and the photographer gave us our places to pose, the best man/ brother of the groom came over and told me that he thinks my earrings are caught in my hair. I had not idea as I could not see nor feel this. But sure enough both earrings were caught. He then took the next fiver minutes and ever so careful released my hair from the earrings..... something I don't really think many people a. would have noticed, b. would have done anything about or c. taken such care in fixing. Personally had I known I would have just wripped the hair out for myself and not taken such precise care.
3. For the entrance into the reception it was decided that we would walk in from upstairs, across the floor there, down the stairs and onto the main floor across to the head table... which I think was a great idea. The staircase however can really only fit one person. Well, the groomsman that I was paired with did go in front of me, like the group had discussed... but he didn't just go in front of me. He went in front of me, then turn and gave me his hand to lead me down the stairs without falling... meaning he went down pretty much backwards/sideways.
4. This got me thinking of little moments from Jen and Mark's wedding. Once again, aside from the bride and groom and the classic favourite moments, I loved that the best man at their wedding would also volunteer to hold my flowers when I needed an extra hand.... because it meant he got to smell them... which I know might sound odd, but trust me, it was really awesome. Also in between the photos we had outside, when the camera wasn't click he either offered me his jacket or stood behind me pretty much giving me a bear hug to ensure I was warm.
Why did these things make me cry? Well I know that Barry is an incredible person. I have seen him to some really sweet and awesome things for Jos. I have also adored the man that Mark is and love him for the way he takes care of Jen. Jen and Jos are two amazing people and I could not be happier that they have such amazing husbands. This goes for some of my other friends too who have been lucky enough to meet their other half/significant other. So I have known that there are good guys out there. I went to this wedding purely to watch two friends get married and have a fun time hanging out with friends. My date even asked me "but what if you pick up"... to which I laughed and said "that isn't going to happen, nor is that even a glimmer of a thought for me going to this wedding...". Well half way through the night, the groom informed me that the powers of the bridesmaids dress had been turned on, as there were a few guys that apparently had asked about me. No doubt both really nice guys.... however, it just always seems that when a guy talks to me he makes it all about how he wants to get into my pants, which I'm sure is somewhat of a joke, but also not entirely. Its then that I do put up a front because I just don't want to be a quicky or a whambam thank you ma'am. Even though these guys are actually nice guys, I'm just tired of dating the jerks.... I actually do deserve a nice guy, the one who takes time to make sure you won't fall, or takes special care to ensure your hair is not caught in your earring.
So I started crying, as I am again now as I type, thinking of the four memories listed above, because they just renewed my belief and hope that there are incredibly awesome guys out there. That there is a guy out there for me too..... and one day our paths will cross. True, those who know me, know that I would prefer this to happen sooner rather than later... but I have learned that its ok that it hasn't. I'm more than able to survive on my own. I do have some difficult times, but I do have friends and family who still love me..... even if they are making fun of me while my colts are losing the superbowl..... but I do know the value in having that special person there to whipe away that tear that falls down your cheek.... I am not perfect, nor am I even close, but I am excited for the day, whenever that may be, to have beside me a guy who loves me because of my imperfections.... and who just wants to hold my hand and is content rather than wanting to get in my pants.... its the simple things that when me over..... because those are the things that me, show that you care.
So even though I am having tears falling down.... they are not upset tears... they are tears of renewed hope.....
.... deep breath.....
.... let the journey begin.
