GRRRRR GAK!
I'm getting really frustrated. I'm sick of it.
I just feel like I always get the short end of the stick... and yes I realize that I have some awesome things in my life - things like family, friends, food, clothes, a roof etc.. that I would never trade.... but I just can't believe the amount of crappy luck I seem to have follow me.
I was up for a teaching gig next semester and I was told it was mine because I have all the qualifications - it would just matter if someone with higher credentials applied (ie had a finished Masters or a Ph.D. etc...)... well guess what happened today - someone with a freaking completed Masters applied and obviously gets the job over me. WHICH SUCKS - because the reason why I'm not done my thesis is a) they made me qualify because I was health sciences and not kinesiology (a rule that has been changed somewhat since I started).....b) I couldn't propose throughout the summer because people on my panel were gone on vacation....c) ethics took two months to pass. Well Effing Eh.
So now if my thesis rolls into the Jan semester I'm screwed because I won't have a job (you can't TA/GA more than four times...and I won't be teaching) so I can't afford it. So I finished in Jan... great NOW WHAT??? Move back home and work at the bank until September rolls around and hopefully at that time I go back to fun school for a Ph.D.???
I was really hoping 2008 would be an awesome year - that maybe things would finally start falling into place and things would be turning up Paula....and yes - I'm sure this has happened for a reason - a reason that I'll understand in the future - and I know that this not getting of the teaching gig is small - but in the end it has a ripple effect.... and I'm just so frustrated because I just can't win. If I was someone horrible person I'd understand - but thats the thing - I'm a good person... or at least I try to be - so why does life have to be a constant obstacle course? I don't understand.
I'm losing all motivation very quickly - I wish I could just marry rich and do volunteer work the rest of my life ...hahaha
posted by Paula @ 2:08 PM
1 Comments:
Ouch... that sucks hun. You know there's a but coming.... BUT these hurdles are pebbles in your shoe - and if you're looking for things to be shit luck, then that's how you'll see them, but if you're looking at them to be ways to prove yourself, then they're not reasons to get down, but reasons to have a couple of drinks tighten the chin strap and prove people are not allowed to make you feel defeated. Trust me on this one - it's what's gotten me through so far :)
Plus you know - you will make opportunities for yourself - there are other ways you can exploit your talents, and it's not all black and white. Wait a while longer while exploring some other opportunities - and you'll feel a confidence that will find you the successes you'll looking for.
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