I'm miserable

Today did not start out well. I wanted to sleep the morning away - but of course I was wide awake. I couldn't stand laying in bed thinking so I got up and tried to distract myself.
Adriana (roomie) and I had lunch, and I went to school for class.
I'm scared about my class - I think its going to be quite the challenge. I drank rum and pepsi all through class.
I went to the mall after class to trade in my cell phone - so now I have new one...same number though.
The girls from school who I thought I was going drinking with decided they weren't going out tonight - I got ditched.
BUT - I made plans with Amanda, a girl from high school who moved to Windsor a few days ago for teachers college. (my roomie invited me to go out to her law school thing too! but I had told Amanda at this point I'd meet up with her).
We went to an on campus bar because there was something going on there - the place was packed. We drank, we danced. Then we left and grabbed a coffee and talked some. All in all it was good.
I think I'm just sad that the girls bailed - because had say for example one of them been dumped I'd drop everything and be there to try and cheer them up. Maybe they forgot what today was. I dunno.... but I also know that my dearest friends like you guys would be here for me... and I think its just making me miss you so terribly much.
I just wish Windsor was closer to Toronto/Guelph/London... being here, although I need to be here for the purposes of school and furthering my education... its just really tearing me a part.
Other than my roommate, I just don't feel appreciated here.... when I want to pick up my phone and call someone - there is no one in the area to call.... if I want to go out - it just isnt' convenient to others... I don't mean to complain and put a damper on things - but I just want to be happy. I would really like it if life would stop throwing my obstacles - I feel like I just have no chance....that I'm at least not being given a fighting chance. I'm tired of all of this.
I'm very thankful for the life I have - I have been given so much - but I've also been through so much crap in the last 24 years. I just want to do home - but I can't because it just doesn't exist.
I'm tired, I don't put up a fight, I'm just done with it all.