Superman has a memory like an elephant.

I remember! (big surprise eh Sharon) what I was going to vent about.... I was so upset about it that I temporarily blanked in from my memory!
I was upset because while on my visit to Whitby to have some good times with some good people (and of course free food and booze) I saw a horrible sight. It was horrible. Well - ok - to some people it may not be horrible - but to me it was. Its like when you're a kid and you get so excited about Christmas - because lets face it - its a holiday about getting presents (oh yeah and celebrating the birth of some baby named Jesus we claimed roamed the earth over 2000 years ago that came to save our souls for eternal damnation ..... I suppose that is important too!)...but back to the presents - you get so excited as a child to wake up early in the morning (although all night you tried to stay awake at the hopes you might actually get to meet the man himself - Santa Claus - that maybe he'd take you on a ride in his sleigh - or at least let you feed Rudolph the cookies you had your mom the night before specially make for him!)...but upon waking in the morning you are bursting with excitement to wake everyone else up in the house - to see what he brought you - what the lovely man in the red suit with a bowl full of jelly-like stomach and a cheery laugh of "ho ho ho" - oh what oh what did the man bring you ---- and then you see that the entire christmas tree has been burnt to a crisp and the only present that was saved from the horrible fire was that sweater your great aunt agnus knitted with a picture of a kitty kat on the front - of course made with flame retardant string materials.... that would be a horrible sight. Its never happened to me, nor do I have a great aunt agnus - actually... I do... my mom's step dad who was my grandpa as her real dad died in her twenties - so he's the only grandpa I knew - he has a sister named agnus - and she actually lives here in the Windsor area - but back to the anger of such a christmas morning - that would suck if it happened to you - and that is what I imagine my feelings of the horrible sight saw on sunday could relate too....just to paint a picture of sorts.
Before moving to where my mom currently dwells I grew up in Whitby. I loved living there. I was devastated when I was told we were moving (didn't help that it was two weeks after the house was sold that I was even told we were considering selling... nor did it help that everyone else alreday knew and they drew straws to see who would have to tell me - knowing that I may just be the devil's child and don't really belong to the people who claim to be my birth parents)... anyway - we sold the house to a family friend. I told him that if he ever was going to sell he had to let me put in an offer first. I wanted my house back. I loved that house - for more reasons than I care to try and devulge via a blog - but that structure meant a lot to me... yah yah yah - home is where the heart is - or the family... I get that - the actually house meant something to me which I don't expect you to understand without my explanation and reasons - but tough luck - go with it!
Well upon seeing "my" house again - which I hadn't seen in about a year - I almost threw up. The garage was collapsing - the rough of the house needed to be completely replaced - and the fencing - the fencing I use to sit upon and ponder lifes many mysteries - or jump over to retrieve a runaway ball - or crawl under in the attempt to run away from a bigger and older brother....was no longer serving much purpose as a fence - but rather a fire hazard. The pine tree in the back yard from which I once gathered many a pinecones was brown leaved - WATER THE TREE!... too late... its dead. The windows were cracked and torn - the front lanscape - nor longer lucious with plants and flowers - but rather neglected and ignored... the tree in the front yard, a red mapple, one my father planted himself - long forgotten and needing love...wishing for a young girl or boy to play under its shade it will so willingly provide - but instead is left to whimper.
Who lets a house go from a nice warm inviting loving home to something not even worth much more than a first glance. I can't believe I'm saying this - but I don't want my house back - well I do - but its not possible - my house is gone - and ruins are left in its place. A house that has stood for many years - is now wilting away trying to find the energy to stand tall - but its back is broken - crippling it slowly to the ground until it possibly one day may be no more.
Its pathetic. Its disgusting. I'm hurt - and there isn't a thing I can do about it.
Random side note - I recently went under a general A. I haven't been put under in like 20 years - so it was nice to see I didn't have to breath in some gas from a really bad smelling face mask - but rather got something injected via an IV tube - sounds weird - oh well.... but the funny part is the instructions that come with it --- don't drive for 24 hours, don't drink alcohol for 24 hours, don't take public transportation without adult supervision for 24 hours etc... makes sense - but the one that makes me laugh - don't make any financial decisions for 48 hours! hahahah - just thought I'd share that! hehehehe.